Must …. Find …. Motivation ….

I’ll admit it, I’m really really struggling to find the motivation to do the right thing, eat the right thing and actually get off my arse and move.

Its SO easy to find an excuse, and just slip a little bit off from my plans, and that’s that, gone for the day.  I’m working on it, and trying hard to stay motivated.  I’m planning on a proper exercise plan, one that’s not too daunting, and almost like starting from scratch.



Day 2 on it

I’d like to say day 1 went well, but it was a tad up and down.  Not enough food (an unexpected overtime shift was to blame) and no gym trip (ditto the overtime) but at least I didn’t go madly over with food when I got home to compensate!

The plan for today:

Breakfast – 35g Weetabix Chocolate Protein Crunch with 100ml Milk (6 syns)

Lunch – Salad veg, celery, fat free hummus, cottage cheese, ryvita and 30g cheese.

Dinner – Quorn low fat sausages, mashed potato and roast cauliflower (lovely recipe by the way!)

Treatwise I was thinking perhaps a mini magnum this evening.   I can’t get to the gym or swim today, but intend to take the hell dog for a reasonable walk.    Update on if I stick to this plan to follow!


Have treated myself to a couple of new boxes of Teapigs – these I’m not massively keen on but they’ll go in my infusion bottle.  The fruit ones are a different matter though, yum!

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9 months since my last post

So, a whole 9 months has gone past since I last posted.  A massive amount of things have changed, most of them for the better.  I’m now employed part time, rather than self employed.  And in a rather drastic shock change, I’m now a qualified life guard and swimming teacher.  Nope, didn’t see that coming myself either!

Sadly I’m still REALLY struggling with my weight and exercise, and lately have been increasingly down about it.  I would say I’m about as unhappy with myself as its possible to be at the moment, and something has to change.

I was incredibly lucky and managed somehow to get a ballot place in this years London Marathon but have had to make the heart breaking decision to defer until next year after yet another injury to my knee.  I will manage it next year though, I’m very very determined.

I’ve decided to resurrect this blog in the hopes of also resurrecting my determination to become fit, leaner and healthy.  I’m going to aim to post a weekly food diary and exercise log.

The aim is that in time for the London Marathon 2017 I will be at my target weight, and I’ll manage to run it in a respectable amount of time.



Feeling Frustrated

I should start by saying, I am proud of how far I’ve come. I’m proud that I push myself to work so hard that I ache on an almost daily basis, and that I can feel muscles developing where there was just wobble before. And I’m proud that I am sticking to it, although I can’t see much progress.

But I’m so frustrated for that reason too. I plug away at the weight loss, and never seem to really get anywhere. This week, I weigh 2lb lower than I did the first weigh in of the year. Overall I’m just under 3 stone down, but I was so hoping to be back to my lowest weight in time for the festival, which would have been 2 stone 7 lighter than I am now, and it’s just not happened.

I’ve been trying to find clothes to fit me, ones that I will feel more comfortable in and not feel like I’m standing out like a sore thumb, but that’s not happened either. I’ve found things that are ok, look possibly more age and event appropriate, but have been on the verge of tears more than once when something makes me looks even bigger, or highlights the really wobbly, bulgy bits, or would look amazing on someone say, 3 stone lighter than me, but makes me look like the biggest flump in the world.

I do try hard, and I know I cheat, and I know I don’t give it 100%, but I see people who maybe work at the SW plan 50% of the time at the most, and never get off their arses and move and they plod along either maintaining or having a bit of a loss all the time. I’d say on average, given good and bad weeks, I stick to the plan about 70 – 80% of the time, and I think the level of activity I do beyond that should plug the gap! I do at least 3 hours of classes a week, 2 hours aqua, swim between 2 and 4 miles a week, plus add in gym and additional classes I pick up, you’re probably looking at about an average of 2 hours of activity a day!

I know the difference is I have a medical condition that makes it harder to lose weight, and so much easier to gain it, but I’m so fed up of telling myself that excuse. Something’s got to change, and I know I’m the only one that can do that.

The other frustration is 2 fold, one is my swim speed, which has become ridiculously slow, and I don’t know why, the other is my ability to injure myself with no effort at all on my part! Both this are huge annoyances, and both are things I’m not sure how to fix!

Rebooting ….

I’ve taken a couple of weeks to regroup my food regime. I’ve been slipping gradually and wanted to take some time to sort myself out properly. I am fully expecting a weight gain this week (potentially huge, I’m thinking 6ish pounds), but I will be getting a new book and its going to be a blank page, fresh start, firm line drawn in the sand!

I’ve got to really push myself on the exercise front, I have been lax, and I have really fallen behind a lot. I haven’t swum much, a LOT less than I had intended, and as for running, meh!   I have made a random and drastic decision. The likelihood of anything coming of it is less than remote, but I’m going to enter the ballot for the 2016 london marathon. If I can do 10 miles in October, I would hope that I’d be able to run double that 6 months later, regardless how slowly I do it.  If I can’t get into the London, I will try for the Brighton one

In the meantime, BLT, HIIT, Circuits, and a lot more gym time is an essential, together with decent food, and a proper kick up the backside!

The Running Bug

In a moment of complete idiocy, or possibly divine inspiration, I’ve signed up to do the great south run. October 25th, 10 miles. I’m going to confess I’m terrified, to the point of panicing a little. I’ve run so little lately, and I’m so slow and frankly quite rubbish.

I restarted the C25K app last week, at week 3, just to try build up again. I managed to do the second run last night, and didn’t notice that the last run was twice the length, so that must be a good thing?   The plan is I will be up to running none stop for 5k by the end of April, and then I’ve got 6 months to build up from 3 and a bit miles to 10 – how hard can it be eh??

In the meantime, I’m going to try and proteinise my food, maybe have more regular refuelings of smaller portions, and try hard to be more obsessive about it. I might be boring the people that love me by going on about food, nutrition and exercise – hopefully they won’t mind.

Todays exercise, an hours circuit training at 7am. Officially gone insane. At one point I thought I would throw up, and I did wuss out a couple of time and go for an easier option, but at least I did it! I felt like I had run a marathon, and probably looked like hell, but hey ho!

Bad bunny

It’s March already!  It is literally months since I blogged, and to be honest I feel like my exercise and healthy eating plan has been almost as lax as that.  I have only run three times this year, and we’ve not been out on our bikes since New Years Eve.  The swimming pool has been closed for a week, so no swimming and all my good intentions to run or gym instead have been ignored.  I will be honest and say I think its only by sheer luck that I’ve actually lost weight.

This is my kick up the butt blog post.  I will get moving, I will eat better and I will do it from this minute!  Planning blog to follow!